Volpone and Other Plays Page 15
You are not over-leavened with your fortune.
You should ha’ some would swell now like a wine-vat
With such an autumn – Did he gi’ you all, sir?
CORVINO: Avoid, you rascal.
20 VOLPONE: Troth, your wife has shown
Herself a very woman! But you are well,
You need not care, you have a good estate
To bear it out, sir, better by this chance.
Except Corbaccio have a share?
CORBACCIO: Hence, varlet!
VOLPONE: you will not be a’ known, sir? why, ’tis wise.
Thus do all gamesters, at all games, dissemble.
No man will seem to win.
[Exeunt CORVINO and CORBACCIO.]
Here comes my vulture,
Heaving his beak up i’ the air, and snuffing.
V, vii [Enter VOLTORE to VOLPONE.]
[VOLTORE:] Outstripped thus, by a parasite! A slave,
Would run on errands, and make legs for crumbs?
Well, what I’ll do –
VOLPONE: The court stays for your worship.
I e’ en rejoice, sir, at your worship’s happiness,
And that it fell into so learnèd hands,
That understand the fingering –
VOLTORE: What do you mean?
VOLPONE: I mean to be a suitor to your worship
For the small tenement, out of reparations,
That at the end of your long row of houses,
10 By the Pescheria; it was, in Volpone’s time,
Your predecessor, ere he grew diseased,
A handsome, pretty, customed bawdy-house
As any was in Venice – none dispraised –
But fell with him. His body and that house
Decayed together.
VOLTORE: Come, sir, leave your prating.
VOLPONE: Why, if your worship give me but your hand,
That I may ha’ the refusal, I have done.
’Tis a mere toy to you, sir, candle-rents.
As your learnèd worship knows –
VOLTORE: What do I know?
20 VOLPONE: Marry, no end of your wealth, sir, God decrease it.
VOLTORE: Mistaking knave! What, mock’st thou my misfortune?
VOLPONE: His blessing on your heart, sir; would ’twere more!
[Exit VOLTORE.]
Now, to my first again, at the next corner.
v, viii [VOLPONE stands apart. Enter CORBACCIO and CORVINO.]
[MOSCA passes across the stage.]
[CORBACCIO:] See, in our habit! See the impudent varlet!
CORVINO: That I could shoot mine eyes at him, like gun-stones!
[Exit MOSCA.]
VOLPONE: But is this true, sir, of the parasite?
CORBACCIO: Again t’ afflict us? Monster!
VOLPONE: In good faith, sir,
I’m heartily grieved a beard of your grave length
Should be so over-reached. I never brooked
That parasite’s hair; methought his nose should cozen.
There still was somewhat in his look did promise
The bane of a clarissimo.
CORBACCIO: knave –
VOLPONE: Methinks
10 Yet you, that are so traded i’ the world,
A witty merchant, the fine bird Corvino,
That have such moral emblems on your name,
Should not have sung your shame, and dropped your cheese,
To let the Fox laugh at your emptiness.
CORVINO: Sirrah, you think the privilege of the place,
And your red, saucy cap, that seems to me
Nailed to your jolt-head with those two chequins,
Can warrant your abuses. Come you hither:
You shall perceive, sir, I dare beat you. Approach.
20 VOLPONE: No haste, sir. I do know your valour well,
Since you durst publish what you are, sir.
CORVINO: Tarry,
I’ d speak with you.
VOLPONE: Sir, sir, another time –
CORVINO: Nay, now.
VOLPONE: O God, sir! I were a wise man
Would stand the fury of a distracted cuckold.
MOSCA walks by ’em.
CORBACCIO: What, come again?
VOLPONE [aside]: Upon ’em, Mosca; save me.
CORBACCIO: The air’s infected where he breathes.
CORVINO: Let’s fly him.
[Exeunt CORVINO and CORBACCIO.]
VOLPONE: Excellent basilisk! Turn upon the vulture!
v, ix [Enter VOLTORE.]
[VOLTORE:] Well, flesh-fly, it is summer with you now;
Your winter will come on.
MOSCA: Good advocate,
Pray thee not rail, nor threaten out of place thus;
Thou’ lt make a solecism, as Madam says.
Get you a biggen more; your brain breaks loose.
[Exit.]
VOLTORE: Well, sir.
VOLTORE: Would you ha’ me beat the insolent slave?
Throw dirt upon his first good clothes?
VOLTORE: This same
Is doubtless some familiar!
VOLTORE: Sir, the court,
In troth, stays for you. I am mad, a mule
10 That never read Justinian should get up
And ride an advocate! Had you no quirk
To avoid gullage, sir, by such a creature?
I hope you do but jest; he had not done ’t;
This’s but confederacy to blind the rest.
You are the heir?
VOLTORE: A strange, officious,
Troublesome knave! Thou dost torment me.
VOLPONE [aside]: I know –
It cannot be, sir, that you should be cozened;
’Tis not within the wit of man to do it.
You are so wise, so prudent, and ’tis fit
20 That wealth and wisdom still should go together.
[Exeunt.]
v, x [SCENE FIVE]
[The Scrutineo.]
[Enter Four AVOCATORI, NOTARIO, COMMENDATORI, BONARIO, CELIA, CORBACCIO, and CORVINO.]
[1ST AVOCATORE:] Are all the parties here?
NOTARIO: All but the advocate.
2ND AVOCATORE: And here he comes.
[Enter VOLTORE followed by VOLPONE, disguised.]
AVOCATORI: Then bring ’em forth to sentence.
VOLTORE: O my most honoured fathers, let your mercy
Once win upon your justice, to forgive –
I am distracted –
VOLPONE [aside]: What will he do now?
VOLTORE: O,
I know not which t’ address myself to first,
Whether your fatherhoods, or these innocents –
CORVINO [aside]: Will he betray himself?
VOLTORE: Whom equally
I have abused, out of most covetous ends –
CORVINO: The man is mad!
CORBACCIO: What’s that?
10 CORVINO: He is possessed.
VOLTORE: For which, now struck in conscience, here I prostrate
Myself at your offended feet, for pardon.
[He kneels.]
1ST, 2ND AVOCATORI: Arise.
CELIA: O heav’ n, how just thou art!
VOLFONE [aside]: I’m caught
I’ mine own noose.
CORVINO [aside to CORBACCIO]: Be constant, sir, nought now
Can help but impudence.
1ST AVOCATORE: Speak forward.
COMMENDATORE: Silence!
VOLTORE: It is not passion in me, reverend fathers,
But only conscience, conscience, my good sires,
That makes me now tell truth. That parasite,
That knave, hath been the instrument of all.
20 AVOCATORI: Where is that knave? Fetch him.
VOLPONE: I go.
[Exit.]
CORVINO: Grave fathers,
This man’s distracted, he confessed it now,
For, hoping to be old Volpone’s heir,
> Who now is dead –
3RD AVOCATORE: How!
2ND AVOCATORE: Is Volpone dead?
CORVINO: Dead since, grave fathers –
BONARIO: O sure vengeance!
1ST AVOCATORE: Stay.
Then he was no deceiver.
VOLTORE: O, no, none;
The parasite, grave fathers.
CORVINO: He does speak
Out of mere envy, ’ cause the servant’s made
The thing he gaped for. Please your fatherhoods,
This is the truth; though I’ll not justify
30 The other, but he may be some-deal faulty.
VOLTORE: Ay, to your hopes, as well as mine, Corvino.
But I’ll use modesty. Pleaseth your wisdoms
To view these certain notes, and but confer them;
As I hope favour, they shall speak clear truth.
CORVINO: The devil has entered him!
BONARIO: Or bides in you.
4TH AVOCATORE: We have done ill, by a public officer
To send for him, if he be heir.
2ND AVOCATORE: For whom?
4TH AVOCATORE: Him that they call the parasite.
3RD AVOCATORE: ’ Tis true,
He is a man of great estate now left.
40 4TH AVOCATORE: Go you, and learn his name, and say the court
Entreats his presence here, but to the clearing
Of some few doubts.
[Exit NOTARIO.]
2ND AVOCATORE: This same’s a labyrinth!
1ST AVOCATORE: Stand you unto your first report?
CORVINO: My state,
My life, my fame –
BONARIO: Where is’t?
CORVINO: Are at the stake.
1ST AVOCATORE: Is yours so too?
CORBACCIO: The advocate’s a knave,
And has a forkèd tongue –
2ND AVOCATORE: Speak to the point.
CORBACCIO: So is the parasite too.
1ST AVOCATORE: This is confusion.
VOLTORE: I do beseech your fatherhoods, read but those.
CORVINO: And credit nothing the false spirit hath writ.
50 It cannot be but he is possessed, grave fathers.
v, xi [SCENE SIX]
[A street.]
[Enter VOLPONE, alone.]
[VOLPONE:] To make a snare for mine own neck! And run
My head into it wilfully, with laughter!
When I had newly ’scaped, was free and clear!
Out of mere wantonness! O, the dull devil
Was in this brain of mine when I devised it,
And Mosca gave it second; he must now
Help to sear up this vein, or we bleed dead.
[Enter NANO, ANDROGYNO, and CASTRONE.]
How now! Who let you loose? Whither go you now?
What, to buy gingerbread, or to drown kitlings?
10 NANO: Sir, Master Mosca called us out of doors,
And bid us all go play, and took the keys.
ANDROGYNO: Yes.
VOLPONE: Did Master Mosca take the keys? Why, so!
I am farther in. These are my fine conceits!
I must be merry, with a mischief to me!
What a vile wretch was I, that could not bear
My fortune soberly; I must ha’ my crotchets
And my conundrums! Well, go you and seek him.
His meaning may be truer than my fear.
Bid him, he straight come to me to the court;
20 Thither will I, and if’t be possible,
Unscrew my advocate, upon new hopes.
When I provoked him, then I lost myself.
[Exeunt.]
[SCENE SEVEN]
V, xii [The Scrutineo.]
[Enter four AVOCATORI, NOTARIO, VOLTORE, BONARIO, CELIA, CORBACCIO, and CORVINO.]
[1ST AVOCATORE:] These things can ne’ er be reconciled. He here
Professeth that the gentleman was wronged,
And that the gentlewoman was brought thither,
Forced by her husband, and there left.
VOLTORE: Most true.
CELIA: How ready is heav’ n to those that pray!
1ST AVOCATORE: But that
Volpone would have ravished her, he holds
Utterly false, knowing his impotence.
CORVINO: Grave fathers, he is possessed; again, I say,
Possessed. Nay, if there be possession
And obsession, he has both.
10 3RD AVOCATORE: Here comes our officer.
[Enter VOLPONE, disguised.]
VOLPONE: The parasite will straight be here, grave fathers.
4TH AVOCATORE: You might invent some other name, Sir Varlet.
3RD AVOCATORE: Did not the notary meet him?
VOLPONE: Not that I know.
4TH AVOCATORE: His coming will clear all.
2ND AVOCATORE: Yet, it is misty.
VOLTORE: May’t please your fatherhoods –
VOLPONE: Sir, the parasite
VOLPONE whispers [to] the ADVOCATE.
Willed me to tell you that his master lives;
That you are still the man; your hopes the same;
And this was only a jest –
VOLTORE: How?
VOLPONE: Sir, to try
If you were firm, and how you stood affected.
VOLTORE: Art sure he lives?
20 VOLPONE: Do I live, sir?
VOLTORE: O me!
I was too violent.
VOLPONE: Sir, you may redeem it:
They said you were possessed: fall down, and seem so.
I’ll help to make it good.
VOLTORE falls.
God bless the man!
– Stop your wind hard, and swell – See, see, see, see!
He vomits crooked pins! His eyes are set
Like a dead hare’s hung in a poulter’s shop!
His mouth’s running away! Do you see, signior?
Now, ’tis in his belly.
CORVINO: Ay, the devil!
VOLPONE: Now, in his throat.
CORVINO: Ay, I perceive it plain.
30 VOLPONE: ’Twill out, ’twill out! Stand clear. See where it flies!
In shape of a blue toad, with a bat’s wings!
Do you not see it, sir?
CORBACCIO: What? I think I do.
CORVINO: ’Tis too manifest.
VOLPONE: Look! He comes t’ himself.
VOLTORE: Where am I?
VOLPONE: Take good heart, the worst is past, sir.
You are dispossessed.
1ST AVOCATORE: What accident is this?
2ND AVOCATORE: Sudden, and full of wonder!
3RD AVOCATORE: If he were
Possessed, as it appears, all this is nothing.
CORVINO: He has been often subject to these fits.
1ST AVOCATORE: Show him that writing – Do you know it, sir?
40 VOLPONE [aside]: Deny it sir, forswear it, know it not.
VOLTORE: Yes, I do know it well, it is my hand;
But all that it contains is false.
BONARIO: O practice!
2ND AVOCATORE: What maze is this!
1ST AVOCATORE: Is he not guilty then,
Whom you, there, name the parasite?
VOLTORE: Grave fathers,
No more than his good patron, old Volpone.
4TH AVOCATORE: Why, he is dead.
VOLTORE: O, no, my honoured fathers.
He lives –
1ST AVOCATORE: How! lives?
VOLTORE: Lives.
2ND AVOCATORE: This is subtler yet!
3RD AVOCATORE: You said he was dead.
VOLTORE: Never.
3RD AVOCATORE: You said so!
CORVINO: I heard so.
50 4TH AVOCATORE: Here comes the gentleman, make him way.
[Enter MOSCA.]
3RD AVOCATORE: A stool!
4TH AVOCATORE: A proper man and, were Volpone dead,
A fit match for my daughter.
3RD AVOCATORE:
Give him way.
VOLPONE [aside to MOSCA]: Mosca, I was almost lost; the advocate
Had betrayed all; but now it is recovered.
All’s o’ the hinge again. Say I am living.
MOSCA: What busy knave is this? Most reverend fathers,
I sooner had attended your grave pleasures,
But that my order for the funeral
Of my dear patron did require me –
VOLPONE [aside]: Mosca!
MOSCA: Whom I intend to bury like a gentleman.
VOLPONE [aside]: Ay, quick, and cozen me of all.
60 2ND AVOCATORE: Still stranger!
More intricate!
1ST AVOCATORE: And come about again!
4TH AVOCATORE [aside]: It is a match, my daughter is bestowed.
MOSCA [aside to VOLPONE]: Will you gi’ me half?
VOLPONE [aside]: First I’ll be hanged.
MOSCA [aside]: I know
Your voice is good, cry not so loud.
1ST AVOCATORE: Demand
The advocate. Sir, did not you affirm
Volpone was alive?
VOLPONE: Yes, and he is;
This gent ’man told me so. [Aside to MOSCA] Thou shalt have half.
MOSCA: Whose drunkard is this same? Speak, some that know him.
I never saw his face. [Aside to VOLPONE] I cannot now
Afford it you so cheap.
VOLPONE [aside]: No?
70 1ST AVOCATORE [to VOLTORE]: What say you?
VOLTORE: The officer told me.
VOLPONE: I did, grave fathers,
And will maintain he lives with mine own life,
And that this creature told me. [Aside] I was born
With all good stars my enemies!
MOSCA: Most grave fathers,
If such an insolence as this must pass
Upon me, I am silent; ’twas not this
For which you sent, I hope.
2ND AVOCATORE: Take him away.
VOLPONE [aside]: Mosca!
3RD AVOCATORE: Let him be whipped.
VOLPONE [aside]: Wilt thou betray me?
Cozen me?
3RD AVOCATORE: And taught to bear himself
80 Toward a person of his rank.
[The OFFICERS seize VOLPONE.]
4TH AVOCATORE: Away!
MOSCA: I humbly thank your fatherhoods.
VOLPONE [aside]: Soft, soft. Whipped?
And lose all that I have? If I confess,
It cannot be much more.
4TH AVOCATORE [to MOSCA]: Sir, are you married?
VOLPONE [aside]: They’ ll be allied anon; I must be resolute:
The Fox shall here uncase.
He puts off his disguise.
MOSCA: Patron!
VOLPONE: Nay, now
My ruins shall not come alone; your match
I’ll hinder sure. My substance shall not glue you,
Nor screw you, into a family.
MOSCA: Why, patron!
VOLPONE: I am Volpone, and this is my knave;